The Weight of Expectations: Motherhood, Mental Health, and Self-Compassion
Parenthood is tough. For mothers, the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations to be considered a “good” mom can feel overwhelming. Today, I caught myself battling an inner dialogue—one voice urging me to stay calm and patient while the words coming out of my mouth said something completely different.
The Breaking Point
We’ve been working hard to help Olivia manage her behavior. Between being a typical five-year-old and adjusting to side effects from her new medication, we’ve had some challenging moments. Lately, mornings have been a struggle—spilled drinks, distractions, and a test of patience.
This morning, I reminded Olivia to be careful with her apple juice Miralax drink, to keep it on the table, and to sip through the straw. Five seconds later, there was a spill. Juice was everywhere. She was on the floor, cleaning up the mess. Snap. I lost control.
I told myself, “It was an accident. Stay calm. Show grace.” But what came out was frustration, guilt, and anger. The moment I reacted, my inner voice shifted. “What kind of mother responds like that?” “You’re going to traumatize her.” “Way to go, Mom.”
The truth? I was exhausted from repeating myself. I made a human mistake. I should’ve given myself grace—but I didn’t.
The Aftermath
We cleaned up, she changed, and finished getting ready for school. But when we pulled up to school drop-off, Olivia hesitated. Tear-filled eyes met mine. “I don’t want to leave you, Mommy.” My heart broke. Had my reaction damaged her? Did she know how much I love her? Would she be okay after such a rough start?
As she walked into school with Mr. Wiley’s help, I drove away, feeling like I had failed her. The weight of mom guilt crushed me. And yet, I was expected to shake it off and dive into a productive workday. But how?
Mental Health in the Workplace
Mental and emotional well-being is becoming a bigger conversation in Corporate America. However, it still has a long way to go—especially for parents who juggle caregiving and full-time jobs. If you’re an employer, consider this:
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Your employees’ mental health directly impacts job performance.
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If someone says they need a mental health day, believe them.
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Support shouldn’t come with stigma—mental health matters just as much as physical health.
If you’re unsure about workplace rights regarding mental health, check out the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) website or speak with your HR department.
My Journey With Anxiety & Depression
I’ve operated at a high-stress level for years—probably since college. But after Olivia’s birth and navigating life as a medical parent, that stress skyrocketed. I’ve seen therapists and tried to manage anxiety without medication, but lately, something has felt off.
Ironically, today was also my follow-up for blood pressure management. I expected high numbers after this morning’s meltdown—but surprisingly, they were normal. That was one small relief.
Still, I couldn’t ignore the signs: exhaustion, restless sleep, low appetite, disinterest in things I usually love. I found myself hyper-fixated on tasks, using them as an escape to avoid processing my emotions. I was shutting everything—and everyone—out.
I finally admitted to my doctor that something needed to change. Without shame, I decided to start a low-dose antidepressant to help regulate my emotions. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I knew I couldn’t keep feeling like this.
What Now?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, easily triggered, or struggling emotionally, please talk to someone. You don’t have to be in crisis to need support. You don’t have to be perfect. And you don’t have to justify prioritizing your mental health.
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Don’t let guilt, shame, or workplace expectations tell you otherwise. You matter. You are enough. And you are not alone.
